Supporting Those Who Are Adopting

Though God has called everyone to “care for orphans” that does not necessarily mean that everyone is called to adopt. In fact it would be harmful for some couples to adopt when they are not called or prepared.

That said, there are many ways that people can support adoption without adopting. Here are just a few:

  1. Pray for couples adopting and for the children needing homes
  2. Host a baby shower for adoptive family
  3. Provide meals for adoptive couples when they first bring their child home (although it is not a pregnancy it is still a major adjustment!)
  4. Give financially to help with adoption costs
  5. Give time and services to help fundraise
  6. Treat the adopted child(ren) as the adoptive couple’s very own.
  7. Read up on adoption so that you can be a support
  8. Be aware of positive adoption lingo
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3 thoughts on “Supporting Those Who Are Adopting

  1. I appreciate that you pointed out that “caring for orphans” does not mean everyone should adopt. Thank you for that.

    That said, I would like to point out that “caring for orphans” doesn’t necessarily translate into adoption–or supporting adoption. One way to “care for orphans” (I’m assuming you’re using a rather loose translation of the word “orphan” here, as most children who’re adopted in fact have living parents)–one way to care for these children is to help support the biological mothers who give birth to them–to help those mothers raise them.

    I always kind of wonder at the way in which people are willing to help people ADOPT a baby, but they seem less willing to support a single mom to PARENT her baby. The end result would be the same–the baby would be cared for. Why is adoption seen as the way to help children?

  2. Nicole,

    Thank you for your comment. I agree 100% that “caring for orphans” does not necessarily translate into adoption – there are many ways. My goal was to just highlight one neglected way – supporting adoptive parents. People often think in order to care for orphans there are only three options: sponsor a child, visit an orphanage, or adopt. I plan on posting more in the future on all the ways we can care for orphans.

    I was using the term ‘orphan’ in a very wide sense. Though I would say a large percentage of the 140+ million orphans worldwide are what I would call true orphans in that they have no living parents. Many have lost both mother and father to AIDS and civil wars and many of these children are being adopted and many more need to be adopted.

    I agree with you as well that caring for biological mothers is important. I believe there are many ways to do this. For instance for many biological mothers if they had the support they could very well raise their child. In other cases they are not in the position to do so and the best way to support them is to offer the option of adoption.

    I also know of many wonderful ministries, groups, and people that are passionate about helping biological mothers keep and raise their children. Just last week my church hosted a Baby Shower to collect items to give to mothers who choose not to abort their babies and choose to keep them. A woman in our church hosted over 60 showers for women last year giving each mother over $2000 worth of baby items, clothes, etc. The local Pregnancy Resource Center also does an incredible job at counseling and providing support for mothers who want to keep their babies but don’t know how they will make it. All these ministries and groups tirelessly seek ways to raise funds so that they can support these mothers.

  3. I guess my concern is that “helping financially with the cost of adoption”–if it refers to infant domestic adoption–is not really the best way to help children and their mothers. If we are talking JUST international adoption in which the child’s parents have died of AIDS or something, then yes, it makes sense… but my problem is that this advice does NOT make sense for every adoption. And so without going into the complexities of adoption, when you give this advice, people can think they are doing a good thing just by helping anyone adopt in any way.

    Similar complaint about “postive adoption language.” PAL was pretty much devised for the comfort of adoptive parents, not for adoptees and biological families.

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